i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
