Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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