Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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