My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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