she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
