I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
