She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
