so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I FOUND THE LEGS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
