So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So squirting runs in the family.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
