u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
