Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
