Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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