so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
