I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
