I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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