so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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