Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
