Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
