we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
