Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
