the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
