kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
