if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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