you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
