You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
