Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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