ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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