Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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