Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
