I accidentally had phone sex last night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
