So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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