i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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