Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
