READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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