We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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