I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
