we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
