reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
