but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Too much gin, very little bucket
I cut my penus on the lid.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
