Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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