He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
