This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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