life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
