if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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