we're blogging at a bar
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
