I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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