I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
