My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
