Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When are your genitals available?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
