As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
