there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
