I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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