So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
